Honoring Our Loved Ones Who Have Passed -- by Doc Nolan and Xenon Darrow

I struggled with placing this in regions, but I believe the images and poetry belong here in the main blog. 

Within 5 years, I lost three of the most important people in my life to cancer: My life partner of 21 years (Steve) and two of my very closest friends (Jude and Michelle). To that point, the only person I had experienced with this kind impact regarding loss was my father, who passed from an aneurysm. 

Every day, they live in my heart. Every day, I live a life in a world richly colored and influenced by them. The loss is incalculable. My grief at their passing and the gratitude I have for their contributions to me will be with me for the rest of my own life. 

One of many of the truly amazing and awe-inspiring things that AMV offers us as residents is the region Memorial. This is a place where you may create a beautiful and loving tribute to your loved one(s) who have passed and share it with all who come to Memorial. Cat is expanding Memorial to a tremendous extent; she is committed that everyone have a place to remember and share their loved ones. 

The person you cherish and wish to honor need not be a virtual world member. You may honor any being in your life who have passed. I recommend walking around Memorial and being inspired by the tributes of others. I will be creating a memorial for the three people above, as well as my mother and father. (Don't worry; it will be in one memorial spot!) 

Doc Nolan has provided us with some beautiful images and some poems to really express the feel and beauty of this region. I look forward to viewing your beautiful expressions of love for those that have passed. 

NOTE: Sofee did a WONDERFUL detailed article about Memorial and all the areas in the 18th edition of the BLA BLA BLA magazine! Please go take a look! And if you haven't seen the magazine, you are in for a TREAT! 

https://issuu.com/theblablablanewsletter/docs/bla_bla_bla_newsletter_v18_edition 

Time does not bring relief; you all have lied

Who told me time would ease me of my pain!

I miss him in the weeping of the rain; 

I want him at the shrinking of the tide;

The old snows melt from every mountain-side, 

And last year’s leaves are smoke in every lane; 

But last year’s bitter loving must remain

Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.  

There are a hundred places where I fear 

To go,—so with his memory they brim. 

And entering with relief some quiet place 

Where never fell his foot or shone his face 

I say, “There is no memory of him here!” 

And so stand stricken, so remembering him.

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, 1892-1950)

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Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann’d:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.

(Christina Rossetti, 1830-1894)

__________________________________________

All the time.

When you lose someone you love,

Your life becomes strange,

The ground beneath you gets fragile,

Your thoughts make your eyes unsure;

And some dead echo drags your voice down

Where words have no confidence.

Your heart has grown heavy with loss;

And though this loss has wounded others too,

No one knows what has been taken from you

When the silence of absence deepens.

Flickers of guilt kindle regret

For all that was left unsaid or undone.

There are days when you wake up happy;

Again inside the fullness of life,

Until the moment breaks

And you are thrown back

Onto the black tide of loss.

Days when you have your heart back,

You are able to function well

Until in the middle of work or encounter,

Suddenly with no warning,

You are ambushed by grief.

It becomes hard to trust yourself.

All you can depend on now is that

Sorrow will remain faithful to itself.

More than you, it knows its way

And will find the right time

To pull and pull the rope of grief

Until that coiled hill of tears

Has reduced to its last drop.

Gradually, you will learn acquaintance

With the invisible form of your departed;

And, when the work of grief is done,

The wound of loss will heal

And you will have learned

To wean your eyes

From that gap in the air

And be able to enter the hearth

In your soul where your loved one

Has awaited your return

All the time.

(John O'Donohue, 1956-2008)